June 20, 2009

Cricket Overdose

There has been an overdose of Cricket since the last couple of months and I am growing sick of it. Quite a bold statement for an Indian. The types that can get you loads of hate mails and even get you in the wrong side of a PIL. But what the heck, this way I might get a little publicity. After all, one thing that I’ve learn during my Ad and Marketing diploma is that no publicity is bad publicity (Somebody tell Shiney Ahuja about it)

Coming back to the issue at hand – Cricket – let me clarify that I am not a Cricket hater. Many of us from the North Eastern part of the country prefer football to cricket. But I grew up in a community where boys plays football during summer and cricket during the winters. The idea of an India-Pakistan match is as interesting to me as anyone in the country. Even then, the overdose of cricket, its blatant commercialism in the name of “popularizing the game” have made me cringe.

Those who followed the IPL matches were subjected to 10 minutes of uninterrupted TV commercial in the name of Strategic Breaks, camera following Mr. Lalit Modi signing autographs and some member of the audience reading (rather pretending to read) the T20 cricket magazine while commentators shamelessly asking the audience to buy it. To top it all, we have Mandira Bedi who just manage to scream and make weird faces in a bid to sound exciting and bring some oomph factor(?!). I think it is lame, irritating and embaressing more often than not. If things remain such, I might be on my way to confirm to the stereotype that North Eastern do not like cricket.

Despite all the cribs I continue to watch the World T20 championship and to be honest, I am quite happy with the results so far. Here’s why:

Australia going out of the tournament from the first round I have nothing personal against the Aussies nor the above comment is a backlash for all the racial attacks on Indian students in Australia. A dialogue from the movie Dark Knight seem to sum up the reason quite well. “You die a hero or live long enough to be the villain.” Australia has been the number one cricket team for many many years and I was starting to get sick of it.

India being knocked out of the tournament
The immediate effect of it is pull out of the stupid ad campaign “Yeh cup kahin nehin jayega” (This cup will not go anywhere)…and it’s a great relief. The ouster also showed the technical weakness of the Indian batsmen, toothless pace attack (apart from a few exceptions). When faced with real opponents like West Indies, England and South Africa, the Indian team was quickly put to their place. Too much cricket and too much money – serves us Indians right for worshiping a bunch of technically challenged players who can flourish only on small grounds with a flat pitches.

South Africa losing in the Semis
Boy! Don’t we love it when someone confirms to whatever “tag” they are given? South Africa managed to keep their choker tag intact after losing in the semi finals of yet another major tournament. Thank God I am not a South African or I’d have felt even worse.

Pakistan and Sri Lanka in the finals
Yes, being an Asian, I supported these two teams after the MIGHTY (mind the bold and italics) Indian team lost. Whoever wins the title, I hope the title of World T20 Champions will bring some happiness to the two countries torn apart from war and killings.

April 30, 2009

Guys are SCUM...Girls are WHORE

Today morning I was in for a rude shock when I opened up my Delhi Times to see those dreadful words printed across the front page.

Guys are SCUM (with even bigger fonts)

Then they went on to explain that “Girls would agree – that’s even more true now. SCUM is a neologism that means Self-Centered Urban Male.” This little explanation made it look even worse because it is claiming it to be true! I honestly expected it to be some kind of a joke, just a good headline to get people excited. If there is a joke in there, I fail to notice.

Or maybe the writer expected us guys to behave the way we almost always do. Being a guy I should have laughed at it without giving it a second thought instead of getting offended. But what the heck…I don’t want to join the PIL bandwagon and demand an official apology (read 15 minutes of fame). I don’t want any “pangaa” with the largest news feeder of the country. But I can’t help but wonder, since when an urban male became a Scum? And what if there is a neologism for a Self-Centered Urban Female is something as demeaning as scum, say WHORE. I bet not one in the country have the balls to even think of putting out something like that.

I am an urban guy. I don’t know any of my urban guy friends beat up their girlfriends. Instead they wait patiently for their partners to get ready in just five minutes. When a guy waits for his girlfriend, it is chivalry. Make a girl wait for actually five minutes (exactly 300 seconds; not to be confused with the female version), you get the tag of being “rude” and “bad dating/husband material.” A poor guy goes through salsa classes, peppy chick flicks, PMS tantrums, and a host of difficult questions like “Am I looking fat?” only to be named Scum? That’s unfair.

It is even unfair that we are supposed to put down the toilet seat after use. Can’t the girl simply pull the seat down instead of complaining in rims and rims of cheap newspaper?

April 26, 2009

Travian Stretagy

I am a big fan of the online browser game Travian and have been playing it for quite some time now. It is a war game where a player chooses among three tribes – Roman, Gaul or Teuton and start building his/her village and troops. One has to build different civilian and military buildings as well as resource fields (Wheat, Wood, Clay and Iron). The manual gives all the information one needs and the starting training quests are quite helpful too in learning to play the game as well as earning some extra resources as well as 35 Gold. So, I won’t delve much about the basic but share a few war strategies that I’ve picked up.


High level Cranny/Wall/Residence:
To any veteran players, this will seem as too trivial to mention but then many players miss this basic point. Players end up as farms because the raiders get away with precious resources. If you are playing a defensive game, it is better to build two crannies to start with (one for Gaul as their cranny capacity is twice than that of Roman and Teuton). The idea is to be able to hide as much resource as your warehouse and granary can hold. One start with 1200 unit storage capacity, so to hide it from raiding armies, your cranny should be able to hide about 1600 units. This will take care of Teuton’s ability to see 1/3rd resources hidden in crannies.

As you grow and upgrade your warehouse and granary capacity, I reckon you upgrade/build new crannies. Along with it, build city wall and residence/palace. Higher level palace/residence and wall gives decent defense. When your raider gets nothing for their raids and end up losing one or two soldiers every time, he will eventually leave you alone.


Dodging:

For those playing an aggressive game (esp Teuton) and raid other villages for resources, their army is their bread and butter. When someone attacks you, it is always better to dodge their attacks rather than defending them (unless you’ve grown fond of the rat given by the Quest Master). Send your army out to raid someone else when you see an attack coming. Make sure that you don’t give away any resource to your raider. Use up any extra resources that your cranny is unable to hide. Remember, the raider is going to use the resources to build his/her army and eventually use it against you.

Before going offline, send your army to raid someone who is weak and is far away from you. Supposedly, you are going to be offline for eight hours, send out your armies to raid some village who is about four hours from you. That ways, by the time you get back online, you’ll have your army at your disposal and don’t have to wait for them to come back. I prefer small Teuton villages for this purpose because their initial defenses sucks – big time!

Counterattack
So the raider is getting onto your nerves and you want to retaliate. But when you send your army to attack, he always dodges your attacks. The best way to get his army is to counterattack. This takes some active playing and a fast internet connection because seconds matter in this move.

Say Mr. X from village Y has launched an attack against you. First, check out how much time does your army takes to reach village Y. Then check out how much time would Mr. X’s army will take to get back to his village. You can use many tools to calculate the timings. Plan your attack after one second of when Mr. X’s army reaches back to his village.

This works best when your army’s speed is less than that of the attacker so you can send your army well before the attacking party reaches your village. Things can be a bit tricky if both your and Mr. X’s army takes the same time. If you are to send your army after some time of the attack on you, your army will have to withstand the attack…right? But there’s a way around it too.

Supposedly it takes 30 minutes for Mr. X’s army to reach you and vice versa. Send your army to attack before 29 seconds of Mr. X’s attack on your village. Call them back after 15 seconds. That way, your army will take a total of 30 seconds to go some distance and come back (15 to go and 15 while coming back) and will be back to your village 1 second after the attack of Mr. X. All you have to do now is send your army hot in wheels of Mr. X’s giving him no more than 2-3 seconds of response time.

Attacking with rams and catapults:
At a later stage of your game, when you have rams and catapults, you have the power of razing somebody’s village to ground. I have many friends who choose to attack random target until the village population becomes zero. But this is a long process as Catas take a hell lot of time to travel. It happened with me once when I was being attacked by some big player with Catas. But soon after the attacks, I’d build back everything. The guy got impatient that he had to send army with his catas which he otherwise would have used to farm other villages (he got absolutely no resources from me). After 2 days he got careless and started sending only Catas. All I had to do is ask for my friend’s little help to take down his defenseless Catas.

There are many other ways of carrying out fatal assault on a village. I am sharing the one that worked best for me. In the first wave, I send my first wave with 80% infantry, 25% of my cavalry and all my Rams. Second wave of attack is with cavalry that land in a few seconds after the first wave. Try to send the Catas with a few infantry after a few seconds of sending the first wave (as Catas takes the same time to travel as Rams). That ways, the defender will have minimum chances of dodging the first two waves and defend the Cata attacks. Target his/her Main building, Rally point and Market first time around. Then target his crop production – Granary, Bakery and Grain mill. After that, target his croplands – this way, he can not create new troops (lack of crop), buy it from the market or rebuild his infrastructure immediately (Low main building level means his progress will be slow). Keep raiding him as frequently as possible. He will soon be frustrated and delete his account…if not, you have a new farm!

There are a few more tricks to share but maybe later…this post has already become awfully long.

February 9, 2009

Untitled poem by unknown poet

Here I am sitting in my office
Thinking hard about life
How it changed from a maverick college life to strict professional life…...

How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecks
but then why it gives lesss happiness….

How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe
but then why there are less people to use them

How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger
But then why there is less hunger…..

How a bike always in reserve changed to bike always on
but then why there are less places to go on……

How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day
but then why its feels like shop is far away…..

How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package
but then why there are less calls & more messages……

How a general class journey changed to Flight journey
But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment….

How a old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop
but then why there is less time to put it on……….

How a small bunch of friends changed to office mate
But then why we always feel lonely n miss those college frnz.….

December 24, 2008

Christmas "celebration"

I walked in to my office today in my new brown leather jacket pretty late.

They: You're not in dress code.
Me: What dress code?
They: Dress code for the Christmas party...check your mail.


Dear All,

Christmas festivities at "my company" include

- Work Area decoration competition. The office has bee divided into four areas.

- Operations : - Team leader is Ms X

- Mktg/OPS : - Team leader is Mr Y

- HR/Admin : - Team leader is Ms Z

- Rest : - Team leader is Ms ?

The team leaders will be buying the stuff needed for decoration and asking rest of the team to contribute towards the cost.

- Everyone has to wear either red, green or white on 24thDEC. If you have a client meeting, please change after the meeting. There will be a penalty of Rs.100 for anyone who is not wearing either of these three colours.

- We will be having a Christmas tea party b/w 5.30 -6.30 pm on 24th Dec. If anyone wants to prepare any food item for the party is most welcome to do so.

Hope everyone can make it.

Regards

XOXO

Me: Oops!
HARD TIMES :(

October 20, 2008

Come on lets go get high!

Recently, I’ve been listening to the soundtrack of the movie “Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke” day in and day out.

Up in smoke
That's where my money goes
In my lungs
And sometimes up my nose
When troubled times
Begin to bother me
I take a toke
And all my cares
Go up in smoke

It is a movie about two stoners and their adventures while being happily high. One rich hippie and a Mexican team to make a band and eventually win a “Rock Fight” by getting the whole audience high on high-quality marijuana. I must have seen the movie 10 times now. Those who haven’t seen it, I reckon you go and rent the DVD or something.

Don't believe me? Check out the promo.

October 1, 2008

As I lay awake

The books are gone. So are most of the cloths. Basic make up stuff remains, as if to remind me of a feminine existence in my life. Do I really want it? I suppose so. Something is not right when I am alone. I won’t call it loneliness but a sense of aimlessness. On a normal day, I’d be in deep sleep by now, though I’d only have a part of my bed. But here I lay awake, trying to type out a literary masterpiece.

What a joke

I try to read a P.G. Wodehouse book – not that it interests me. I just want to doze off.

Am I the only one feeling this way? I am pretty sure others are snoring peacefully; happily ignorant of the demons I am fighting this time of the night.

Why everything seem so distant right now when I remember the closeness distinctly. I vividly remember the time when everything seemed possible – everything was there right at the palm of my hand. I know I was not strong enough to grasp it. Am I stronger now?

I guess not

Everyday there’s a race to get ahead of the game…at least by a couple of hundred bucks. No matter how many rosy dreams the payday brings, every month end is the same story of “Please lend me a couple of hundreds”. I am getting sick of it myself. I wonder it affect people around me.

How can I expect you to stay with me when all I do is take, take and take. Maybe someday, I’ll give back everything – all things good and bad you have given me. Maybe then we will be in equal terms. Till then I guess I’ll have to be a wimp…like I’ve been for most of my past life.